Memory vs Heart matters
Sometimes the hardest thing is to decide what I want to work with, narrowing down my thoughts to a theme. This can numb my creativeness, it is said that the magic happens in the making, that is why I decided to start making work for two different themes: Memory vs Heart Matters.
Memories can be wide and vague and misunderstood and even though it is universal, the experience is different for everyone.
.. is it my memories or memories of other’s that I made mine?
..how and when do we remember?
..why memory?
I want to create work that not only references my experience of life, but also triggers familiarity to the viewer, making them think about their own life, memories, and identity.
The works I created were about my memories of my father, I did layered drawings on tracing paper and as the layers became more the images underneath became less clear, like my own memories that are vague and fading away every year since the time he has passed.
I wanted to comment about my invisible identity, talk about the experiences and stories I normally don’t share, the stories we keep inside, the stories that shaped me, that shaped my point of view and made me the person I am today. You cannot tell a person’s background merely by looking at them, there are many invisible layers. The layered drawing of my father is the story about how his suicide changed my life and still today impact me in certain ways.
Kiki Smith says: “I always think the whole history of the world is in your body.”
Themes that keeps on surfacing in my work, is the body, fragility of life and loss. Heart Matters is about my own heart matters, my fears, my love and my life with my partner. Blood, cells, heart muscles and everything to do with anatomy surfaced because my husband got diagnosed with a heart disorder. I zoomed into life at a microscopic level, researching statistics and looking for answers to all the questions running through my mind.
I created a drypoint etching:
Heart as the head: asking myself if I am thinking with my heart or my head, it isn’t easy working with something raw and current in my life.
Moth: symbolises knowledge of the other world (afterlife), my fears about losing the people close to me, this fear is from childhood memories of losing my father.
Throat: Feeling voiceless, all the medical lingo making me uncertain on what to ask or say
Stitches: My need to fix everything and wanting to mend the situation
I could see the link between my current experiences and my past, this is why I wanted to work with my memories for the next semester.
